Rebirth, Rebreak, Recharge, Retake

So while I enjoy the temporary freedom of post-midterms mania, I'm writing this and watching the first episode of season 4 of Dawson's Creek. There are truly no Paceys in this world. Sad.

I wanted to make a small update post before I get back to the usual stuff.

Whoever thought it was a good idea to start a whole degree a year shy of turning 30+? It was me, yes, but somewhere between studying and taking exams, that firm conviction that gets me to class every day starts to waver, and I start questioning whether it's really worth the stress (it is... I have to believe it is).

Something we've been studying lately is desire, that thing that keeps us moving forward. I was talking to my friend about it over a video call today, about what it means to understand that we're never truly complete, that no object of desire can ever fully satisfy that lack we experience in life.

So when I think about things I consider worth it, I tend to ask myself whether they fall into the category of things I desire. I know I desire so much, and yet I know that once I get those things, I'll only want more. And beyond the idea that we'll never find something that makes us feel entirely whole, there's something about recognizing that desire for something unknown and unnamed, something that will always be there. Even after I finish this degree, even after wherever life might take me.

A bit overwhelming.

I'll leave these thoughts hanging for the moment. I'm happy to be writing here again. I'll definitely be desiring to write some more :)

P.S. I'm in the Southern Hemisphere, so we're supposed to be in spring, but it feels more like fall than ever...